Dave’s just so busy doing “something else,” and we’re talking “scheduling conflicts” here, that he can’t show up in person in Loudoun to say why he should be our delegate.
Apparently he believes we, the Loudoun voters, should rely on his caustic witty one-liners in expensive glossy multi-colored oversized postcards that he’s stuffing into our mail boxes.
This man’s Franklin-Covey day-timer must be a blizzard of conflicting activities that would challenge the skills of an Amtrak scheduler.
For the record, before last week, Dave had ducked the Clarke County Debate Forum as well as the Loudoun County Chamber of Commerce Debate Forum. Now that’s news! What candidate of either party ever ducks the Chamber’s well-attended high class opportunity to chew on issues that are well-framed and widely covered in the media? Our Dave did. Dave also refuses to answer the Chamber’s written questions on the issues. Thus, we have Dave the politically obscure and obdurate.
Last Wednesday evening, at 7 PM, there was a Debate Forum convened by the Purcellville Gazette at the Carver Center, not that far from Dave’s home.
There was a good size crowd. We all just got so cozy in our folding chairs about 7 PM with free cups of high test java and fresh made cookies and settled back, waiting to hear Dave tell us why he should be our next rep in the Northern Hemisphere’s oldest deliberative body.
While sitting there, I thought of the Monty Python lyrics, “Brave Sir Robin,” and thought we should sing instead of our “Brave Sir Dave” while we were waiting:
Bravely bold Sir Dave
Rode forth from his Loudoun home,
He was not afraid to debate,
Oh brave Sir Dave,
He was not at all afraid
To be beaten in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Dave.
We then learned Brave Sir Dave had “declined” to show.
In my mind’s ear, I heard Britney Spears’ “classic,” “Oops, I did it again.”
Dave how could you? Nor was Dave’s absence overlooked. One hand-written question from those constituents Brave Sir Dave would represent, asked the Libertarian and Democratic candidates exactly how, as elected officials, would they handle a scheduling conflict, when “invited to attend an important constituent forum?”
Mary Daniel, the Democratic candidate, first up, asked, “such as this one?” Mary concluded, “I would change my schedule to attend an important constituent forum.”
Patrick Hagerty, the Libertarian candidate agreed with Mary, “Absolutely,” he said, “I would make time for you all. A vote in Richmond is the only time I would not be here.”
Mary and Patrick fielded many more questions for an hour and a half including whether we needed a transportation bill. Patrick said it was unnecessary. Brave Sir Dave wasn’t there to tell us whether he still agreed with Patrick. Mary said she was “not afraid to follow the truth,” as Jefferson had instructed, “as long as reason is left free to combat it.” We heard no “truth” from Brave Sir Dave. The topics encompassed when may or should the General Assembly restrict a local government, do you favor inclusion or discrimination, what would you do about gerrymandering, are there taxes you find tolerable, fees you believe are necessary, should homeschoolers play on public school teams, need we revise eminent domain, should we expand Medicaid, do you believe extremism in defense of liberty is no vice, are you for background checks for guns, do you think there’s too much money in politics.
When the community and media asked Brave Sir Dave about his no-show trinity, he said he didn’t think the Clarke County forum was fair, and insisted he was busy the night of the Gazette forum (not saying at what) and the Gazette wouldn’t give him any alternative dates; the Gazette Editor said she most certainly had and has offered Brave Sir Dave another forum, “just choose the date.” As Bill Cosby might say, “Right.”
I leave you with this further revision of Monty Python’s lyrics:
When danger reared it’s ugly head,
Dave bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Dave turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.